4 03 2009

These days I write for a lot of different people (seven on a weekly basis) and about five months ago I jumped aboard the good ship Big List (www.thebiglist.co.uk). I’m very happy with how everything’s panning out so far and this month’s issue features (among other things) DVD reviews by yours truly. In previous months I handled CD reviews, but to be honest I decided to step back from them for fear of burning myself out. Anyway, here’s said reviews. If they raise the odd smirk, then I’ve done my job right.

DVD Reviews

James Bond: Quantum of Solace

Continuing on from the stern-faced, high octane adventures of Casino Royale, Daniel Craig’s Bond is an odd beast. More action hero than ladies man, his portrayal have split fans into two camps-those who miss the days of Roger Moore’s wonky eyebrow and daft double entendres and those who just want to leer at Craig swanning around in his cacks all day. When you watch it purely as an action movie, Quantum of Solace is a great flick with some jaw dropping set pieces, but as a Bond movie it’s quite weak and isn’t a patch on Octopussy.


Zach and Miri Make a Porno

They say that the secret to making a great comedy is to cram as many jokes in there as possible. Someone really should have told this to director/writer Kevin Smith as his latest vehicle Zack and Miri Make a Porno is about as funny as a funeral and the two hours it takes to tell its outlandish story (two broke friends decide to make a blue movie for cash) is lifeless and dull. Even the man of the moment Seth Rogan (you may remember him as the fat bloke from Knocked Up, the fat bloke in Pineapple Express and, er, the fat bloke from Superbad) can’t save this utter turkey of a film. Avoid.



Quarantine is a nasty little horror movie that focuses on television reporter Angela Vidal and her cameraman Steve Harris (sadly not the same Steve Harris from Iron Maiden). One night they are assigned to spend the night shift as a Los Angeles fire station and after following a routine 911 call they arrive at an apartment only to hear blood curdling screams coming from one of the buildings. Pretty soon they release that these people have been infected with an unknown virus and they are unwittingly quarantined with their only lifeline being their TV cameras. Quarantine borrows heavily off of the Cloverfield, Blair Witch, Diary of the Dead style of gonzo film-making. If shaky cameras and blood and guts aren’t your thing, then avoid this like the plague. On the other hand, if you enjoy watching fat dudes meet sticky ends then book your seat on the sofa now.


How To Lose Friends and Alienate People

How To Lose Friends and Alienate People stars the super smug Simon Pegg as Sidney Young, a disillusioned intellectual who both adores and despises the world of celebrity, fame and glamour. His alternative magazine, Post Modern Review, pokes fun at the media obsessed stars and bucks trends, and so when Young is offered a job at the diametrically opposed conservative New York based Sharps magazine its something of a shock. It seems Sharps editor Clayton Harding is amused by Young’s disruption of a post-BAFTA party with a pig posing as Babe. Thus begins Sidney‘s descent into success and hilarity ensues. At least, that’s what we’ve been told anyway. Sadly this writer barely raised a smirk at most of the jokes in the film and I really couldn’t relate to Young (a smart-arsed journalist) at all…


Survivor Series 2008

If, like this writer, you enjoy spending an evening watching over-grown men cavorting around a square ring, dripping in baby oil and wearing an odd concoction of feathers and lycra (I swear it isn’t as camp as it sounds) then you’ll know that WWE’s annual Survivor Series is one of the best events of the year. ‘08’s card was as strong as it’s ever been with Shawn Michaels’ Team HBK going up again Team JBL well worth the admission price alone.




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