I’m Mad For It, Matthew

30 10 2008

Last night I was covering the Oasis gig in the Odyssey. As you might expect it was the usual sea of pissheads and beer-guts and you know what?I loved it. The band were on top form, a drunk lesbian who was off her face not only fell and smacked her head off the seat beside me, but also fell into my lap (I’m sure there’s a joke there somewhere) and the Gallaghers were mincing about posing for Carrie’s camera. Sadly they didn’t play ‘Live Forever’ even though Our Kid introduced it, but I loved it all for waht it’s worth.

I think my favourite member is Liam and in tribute to last night’s show I’ve reprinted below a short side-bar that I wrote to accompany a DVD review of ‘Don’t Look Back In Anger.’

Getting Lippy with Liam

Here at AU Towers we’ve always believed that Oasis frontman Liam Gallagher is a misunderstood comedy genius. Here are just a few examples of his classic comic clangers.

 

“You see pictures of Bono running around LA with his little white legs and a bottle of Volvic and he looks like a fanny.”

 

“Always wear four condoms-including one for putting on your head.”

 

“I hate Tom Cruise. He’s a little bastard.”

 

“I’ve got Patsy Kensit’s phone number and she’s mad for it!”

 

“I never wanted to go to Downing Street anyway. It looks like a shit house.”

 

“I’m into the girls and stuff fancying me-mad for it in fact. I get a bit worried if boys started fancying me though. I’ve got nothing against gays-as long as they don’t pinch me bum or whatever.”

 

“S Club Juniors are great. I don’t mind them at all.”

 

“Americans want grungy people stabbing themselves in the head onstage. They get a bright bunch like us, with deodorant on and they don’t get it.”

 

“Being a lad is what I’m about. I can tell you who isn’t a lad-anyone from Blur.”

 

“The band will go on as long as we’ve got our hair and as long as we look cool. It’s all about the barnet.”

 

“If I saw an alien I’d tell it to fuck right off because whatever planet he came from they wouldn’t have had the Beatles or any decent fucking music. So they can fuck right off-I ain’t going nowhere with them.”

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